


Until My Last

by howoojosh (kaminari1007)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Not Beta Read, Soonhoon - Freeform, Toki Doki based AU, if you guys are aware of that manga then im sorry, other characters are minor, still do not know how to tag, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 04:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18438977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaminari1007/pseuds/howoojosh
Summary: People had always asked him over and over again, as if wanting him to move on from him,"Until when will you continue loving him?". He didn't have to think twice as he always answered with a smile,"Until my last heartbeat."





	Until My Last

**Author's Note:**

> Hello once again! So I've been writing this since last month, and I've been slacking so much that it took this long before I was able to post it. This story is solely based on a manga called "Toki Doki", so if there are scenes that are identical to it, then it is because of that. I really love this manga and I wanted to write it on a different POV. I hope you guys enjoy reading this and I hope I gave justice to the manga as well. 
> 
> Well here it is, a TOKI DOKI SoonHoon AU nobody anticipated for.
> 
> Talk to me on twitter: @[howoojosh](https://twitter.com/howoojosh)

Jihoon can still vividly remember how he first came in contact with Soonyoung.

Soonyoung was in the same class as him, friendly and bright, unlike him who had always stayed in the corner, looking outside the window and trying to avoid his classmates as much as possible. He just recently transferred during the semester, and he had always been awkward in making friends, so he kept quiet in the corner, minding his own business. His other classmates seem to not mind; they all have their own set of friends, and having a quiet newcomer whom they barely knew anything except for his name makes it also hard for them to approach Jihoon.

But Soonyoung, he seems to brighten anyone’s day with his smile, he greets everyone, and he seems to know everyone as well. Jihoon tends to watch him silently, see how much they differ from each other. Soonyoung would be laughing and joking with some of his classmates while he would silence everyone out by plugging his ears with earphones. Soonyoung was being all friendly and familiar with their teachers, while Jihoon, on the other hand, just tries to ace all of his classes. Soonyoung being the energetic one during sports event while he tends to sit out and just watch.

They were so different, and yet… _he became his first friend in that new school_.

It all came to Jihoon as an accident; during one of their physical education classes, he had let everyone else change to their uniforms, waiting until everyone was out before he entered the locker room and changed into his uniform. But as he had removed his shirt, the door opened and in came Kwon Soonyoung, eyes widening in shock. Jihoon knew it wasn’t because he was shirtless; it was because of what was on his chest.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Soonyoung apologized, turning his back and was about to leave to give him some privacy, but Jihoon stopped him.

“It’s okay,” Jihoon sighed, “You’ve already seen it anyway.” He continued putting on his button up, thanking the heavens he had already changed his sweat pants into their slacks.

“That… um…” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head, “That explains everything then.” Soonyoung said with a sad smile.

“I don’t need your pity.” Jihoon said, ruffling his hair before fixing it again.

“I…” Soonyoung sighed, “Sorry… it’s not that.” Soonyoung sighed, walking towards his locker and then taking out a bottle of strawberry milk, offering it to Jihoon.

Jihoon looked at him in confusion as his eyes shifted to the milk to Soonyoung’s face.

“Err…” He could see Soonyoung’s ears reddening in embarrassment, “I once saw you drinking this, and I had always wanted to give you one.”

“Why?” Jihoon asked.

“I just find you interesting,” Soonyoung answered, his cheeks flushed, “I had always wanted to talk to you, but you’re so quiet, and you always have your ears plugged.” Soonyoung said, “That’s why I never had a chance.”

Jihoon just continued staring at Soonyoung, before turning to the milk he had on his hand. He reached out for it, and smiled, “Thank you.”

Jihoon didn’t know how, but he ended up having a conversation with Soonyoung on the rooftop as they watch the blue sky above them while drinking their strawberry milks.

“Tempocardy,” Soonyoung said, “I’ve heard about an actor dying of the same illness.”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s suddenly well known.” Jihoon said, looking at Soonyoung.

_**“TEMPOCARDY”** _is a rare condition that weakens the heart, and leaves the victim with less heartbeats and a shorter lifespan than normal. With the right device, the amount of heartbeats remaining can be measured.

“Officially, it’s the weak heart muscle that makes the irregular heartbeat, it’s in the same category as cardiomyopathy.” Jihoon started explaining. “It’s a really strange disease that only happens to one in a million people.” He smiled bitterly, thinking why of all people, he’s that one in a million, “The amount of times a person’s heart beats in their lifetime is decided when they are born, but a person who has this illness have less heartbeats than everyone else.”

Soonyoung looks at Jihoon, as if he was contemplating whether he should say something or not. But Jihoon makes it easier for him. He took out his phone from his pocket, clicking something on it before handing it over to Soonyoung, “Point this in front of me.” Jihoon said, pertaining to the phone.

Soonyoung did as he was told, the screen flashing Jihoon’s photo on the side, a heart rate monitor that shows his heart’s rhythm strip, and the number of his heartbeats.

_171,303,117 heartbeats.  
_

“I’m estimated to live for about 5 and 1/2 years,” Jihoon said, “That’s why I transferred schools. They all look at me with those pitiful eyes, as if any moment, I’d die in front of them.” Jihoon sighed, “I know I have limited heartbeats, but…”

“You want to make the most out of life without restrain.” Soonyoung continued for him, returning the phone to Jihoon.

Jihoon smiled, “Yeah…” but he sighed once again, “When they found out about my condition, everyone had started to be careful around me, even to the point of offering to carry me around so that I won’t have to walk and tire myself.”

Soonyoung snorted, “What kind of mindset is that?” Soonyoung looked at the sky, “It’s not like you can’t walk by yourself? Yes, you have limited heartbeats, but what’s the point of saving up all your heartbeats if you can’t even experience life?”

Jihoon just stared at Soonyoung in awe; it was the first time someone had said that to him, someone who had encourage him to enjoy more to life. When Soonyoung had seen him at the changing room, Jihoon initially thought that the other would start to pity him, start being careful around him, and make sure he doesn’t waste his remaining heartbeats, but instead, he did the opposite.

“You’re really something, huh, Kwon Soonyoung.” Jihoon said making Soonyoung look at him in confusion.

“Wow, so you know my name?” Soonyoung said and laughed.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jihoon asked frowning.

“I thought you don’t pay attention.”

“I always pay attention.” Jihoon said, making Soonyoung’s eyes widen that made his cheeks blush when he had realized what he just said, “I—I mean, you’re really friendly and everything.” Jihoon said, avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes.

“I see…” Soonyoung teased him, “So you’re watching me?”

“Shut up.”  
  
“Now that you’ve said that I’m friendly and everything, why don’t we push everything further?” Soonyoung asked making Jihoon look at him again.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, let me help you make the most out of life,” Soonyoung offered, standing up from where he was seated, “I’ll help you enjoy life to the fullest!” He opened his arms wide to emphasize his point, “That is, if it’s okay with you?”

Jihoon blinked a few times at Soonyoung, trying to process what the other had just said to him. An offer he was 100% sure and no doubt, didn’t have to think twice to accept, and so with a smile he answered, “It’s more than okay.”

☆♡☆

The view in front of Jihoon had made his eyes sparkle and his whole body vibrating with excitement, he inhaled deeply, trying to engrave the smell of the salt-water air coming from the ocean into his memory; a memory that would surely make him smile when he remembers it.

He had always seen the beauty of the ocean through televisions and by surfing the net, but today is the first time he had set foot on one. The blue water looked very refreshing under the summer heat, the white sand were sparkling under the ray of sun, the children were enjoying and playing around making sand castles, and the people were relaxing after such a busy week.

“Wow,” Jihoon breathed, “I can really feel my heart beating against my chest.” Jihoon said, touching the device attached in his chest through his shirt.

“Are you okay?” Soonyoung asked, settling their things down under an umbrella before spreading a blanket for the both of them, “Is this your first time?”

Jihoon looked back at Soonyoung, and smiled widely at him, “I am! More than okay, actually!” His voice filled with excitement, “And yes, this is my first time. Is that weird?” Jihoon asked shyly.

Soonyoung shook his head, “It’s not, but I’m just worried about your heart rate, are you sure you’re okay?” Soonyoung asked once more.

Jihoon smiled, sitting on the blanket Soonyoung had spread for them, the latter following him and sat down beside him, “I was planning to do this anyway.” He said as he stares at the vast ocean, admiring the line where the blue sky meets the blue sea, “But can’t find the right time since I want to enjoy it with a friend.”

“I’ve never seen you as a friendly type.” Soonyoung said making Jihoon pout.

“I’m awkward and shy, but I do appreciate people trying to approach me and making me their friend.” Jihoon explained, gathering his legs, and leaning his chin between his knees, “That’s why I’m really thankful you’re here.”

Jihoon can feel the blush creeping up his cheeks, embarrassment flooding his system, but he had to push through this, “I’m thankful that you didn’t try to stop me, thankful that you understood me, thankful that you talked to me.” He turned to Soonyoung who seems to be blushing as well, “I’m really thankful, Soonyoung.”

“Uhmm…” Soonyoung avoided his eyes, his ears as red as his cheeks, Jihoon found it cute, “You’re welcome, I guess?” He spoke softly.

 “Wait, you have that nickname going around, right?” Jihoon suddenly thought.

Soonyoung looked back at him, “Hoshi?” He said with confusion lacing his voice.

Jihoon nodded, “Yeah, it’s a Japanese term for ‘Star’, right?”

“Yup,” Soonyoung smiled, “Did you search for it?” He teased Jihoon.

Jihoon shyly nodded, “I got curious.” He explained, “I’ve been hearing your friends call you that a few times, and I tend to get curious with a lot of things, to be honest. But I guess I have someone I can turn to now.” Jihoon continued with a smile.

He can see Soonyoung’s smile getting wider; his cheeks bunching up, his eyes turning to crescents, and his cute teeth showing their perfection.

_Cute…_  

“Don’t worry! I’ll make sure you have fun!” Soonyoung said with determination.

“Well, start by taking your shirt off and let’s go swimming!” Jihoon stood up and pulled Soonyoung up.

“I don’t want to remove my shirt,” Soonyoung said covering his body, “I’m not confident about my body.” He said turning away.

“Oh, c’mon!” Jihoon said, pulling Soonyoung’s shirt, “Take it off.”

“No!” Soonyoung pushed Jihoon with a bit force, surprising the latter, before he made his way to the ocean, “Last to reach the ocean treats the winner!” Soonyoung shouted back making Jihoon laugh and made a run to him.

“No fair, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jihoon shrilled, but he was still laughing.

_He was happy… really and truly happy_.

☆♡☆

Soonyoung had brought Jihoon to different attractions around the town, making sure the latter enjoy every bits of it, and at the end of the day, Jihoon would always be smiling, thanking Soonyoung for hanging out with him and making another day of his worthwhile.

Jihoon enjoyed walking around the park, riding a bicycle and racing with Soonyoung. He had enjoyed watching the different animals on the zoo, yet pities them for not being able to be in the wild.

“Are you crying?” Soonyoung asked, surprised.

“I’m not!” Jihoon denied, but sniffed anyway, “It’s just sad that they can’t be with their families.”

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, laughing at him, “You’re such a soft hearted person, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon just pouted, turning his attention to the lone elephant standing in the middle of the cage, “He looks lonely.” He said.

He heard Soonyoung sigh, and felt his hand on his head, “I know.”

But despite all of that, Jihoon still had fun, especially when Soonyoung looked like a scared hamster when they were asked for a volunteer on to which they would put the snake around them.

“It’s not funny!” Soonyoung pouted, crossing his arms across his chest and turned away from Jihoon.

“It’s okay, you were cute.” Jihoon said, showing Soonyoung his photo, before laughing once again.

“You’re lucky I like hearing you laugh.” Soonyoung sighed and looked at his photo as well, not noticing that Jihoon had completely turned silent.

Jihoon could feel it, his heart beating even faster as he stares at Soonyoung who had held his hand to look closely at his photo.

“What’s wrong?” Soonyoung asked as he noticed Jihoon was staring at him.

Jihoon shook his head, “Let’s go home.” He said, pulling his hand away from Soonyoung and started walking away from him.

“Hey! Wait!” He heard Soonyoung call out, but he walked even faster, his hand touching his chest.

_Stop._

But the fun doesn’t stop there; Soonyoung had brought Jihoon to the aquarium in town, and the latter had always been amazed in walking through the hall surrounded by water and sea creatures.

“Jihoonie!” Jihoon turned to where the voice came from and saw Soonyoung waving at him from behind his phone, eyes trained on the screen, “Say hi to the fishies!” He said, pointing to the school of fish that passed by.

“What are you doing?” Jihoon asked walking closer to Soonyoung, his eyes still trained on the screen.

“I’m taking a video.” Soonyoung said, putting the phone down to play the video he had taken, showing an awe-stricken Jihoon watching the different sea animals before he turned when Soonyoung had called him. `

Jihoon’s eyes trailed to Soonyoung, who was focused on watching the video with a smile on his lips and excitement evident on his slanted eyes. He could feel his heart beating faster once again, and he knew it wasn't from the excitement of being in the aquarium, but because of a different reason; a reason he doesn't want to find out.

“You’re really cute, Jihoonie!” Soonyoung turned, and Jihoon jumped at how close his face was to him, “Are you okay?” Soonyoung asked when Jihoon started walking backwards.

“Huh? Yeah, uhmmm, I’m going to the washroom.” And Jihoon ran away from Soonyoung.

“Stop it, Lee Jihoon.” He said as he closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his heart, _“You can’t.”_

The whole trip, Jihoon kept proper distance from Soonyoung, if Soonyoung noticed, he didn’t asked why and let Jihoon be, while he’s still making sure that Jihoon was having fun.

“Thank you for today.” Jihoon said as they stop in front of their gate.

“You okay?” Soonyoung asked, and Jihoon nodded.

“Oh, by the way,” Soonyoung started rummaging inside his bag before pulling out an envelope, “Before I forgot, this is where we’re going next week.” He informed Jihoon, handing him the envelope.

Jihoon raised a brow and took the envelope, before opening it to see its contents. His eyes widened, and looked at Soonyoung, “Are you serious?” Jihoon asked, excitement evident on his voice.

Soonyoung smiled and nodded, “Have you been to one?” Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon shook his head, “They said the thrilling rides is bad for me.”.

“Then better prepare next week.” Soonyoung winked before walking backwards, “See you.” He said waving his hand before turning around and started walking home.

The following week came, and Jihoon couldn’t hide his excitement. He wasn’t able to sleep the night before, and he had already prepared the things he would be bringing that day.

“Jihoon?” His mother called him, as he was about to leave, “Are you sure about this?”

Jihoon turned to his mother, going back to where she was seated by the sofa, her eyes filled with worry, “I’m sure about this mom,” Jihoon said with a smile, “I’ve never felt this happy before.”

His mother stood up, brushing his stray bangs away from his face before leaning down to kiss his forehead, “I know you’re happy, but be careful as well, okay?” His mother said, hugging him.

“I will,” He hugged her, patting her back to assure her, “I’ll be back later.” He said, separating himself from his mother.

“Take care, and text me if you’ve arrived safely,” His mother cupped his cheeks, “Or if anything else happens.”

Jihoon nodded, making his way to the door and leaving to spend the day once again with Soonyoung.

Same as when Soonyoung had brought him to different places, he can feel the excitement coursing through his veins as he stood in front of the entrance of the amusement park Soonyoung had planned to take him to.

“I can feel your excitement, Ji.” Soonyoung said, placing an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer as they wait in line to get in.

Jihoon’s heart started speeding up, but he brushed it off and thought of it as the excitement of finally being able to go to an amusement park.

“You can’t blame me,” Jihoon defended, “It’s my first time here.” He said, eyes sparkling as he turned to Soonyoung.

“I know…” Soonyoung said with a sad smile, “You told me that last week.”

It was their turn in the queue and he handed the personel the tickets in his hand, “Enjoy.” The girl said with a smile, eyeing him and Soonyoung as they made their way inside.

“Thank you.” Soonyoung answer, holding Jihoon’s hand and pulling him away from the crowd.

Jihoon looked at their hands, not sure what was it’s purpose, but Soonyoung’s hand tightened around his when they came across a crowded place, and he realized that maybe the latter didn’t want him to get lost in such a big place.

They have been walking around, taking photos and playing games, and Jihoon didn’t mind Soonyoung was still holding his hand all throughout. They went and enjoyed all sorts of rides that were a bit child friendly because Soonyoung suggested they should avoid the thrilling ones, for now, to enjoy the amusement park to its fullest.

“So which ride do you want to go now?” Soonyoung asked as he turned around.

Jihoon looked around before pointing to the roller coaster, “That one.”

He saw Soonyoung raise a brow at this, “You sure?” He asked.

“Why? Are you scared?” Jihoon taunted making Soonyoung laugh.

“Of course not, shall we?” He asked, pulling Jihoon’s hand to the coaster’s direction.

Jihoon eyed their hands again, before looking back at Soonyoung’s smiling face, “Let’s go.”

A few minutes in the line, and it was already their turn to ride the coaster, Jihoon couldn’t stop himself from shaking, either from excitement or nervousness.

“Oh my God!” Jihoon squealed as soon as they reached the peak of the ride, making him hold tightly on the safety handle, “I can really feel my life span shortening!”

Soonyoung looked at him, putting a hand on top of his, “I don’t think you should talk too lightly about that.” He said warily.

Jihoon wasn’t able to answer when the train moved, making Jihoon scream as soon as it plunge down in unbelievable speed; still feeling the warm hand gripping his.

“Are you okay?” Soonyoung asked Jihoon, who was bending and trying to support himself by holding onto his knees, after they had exited the ride.

“Let’s do it again!” Jihoon exclaimed surprising Soonyoung, eyes widening before he started laughing at him, a hand parting the former’s head.

“Wow, your image really turned a complete 360 degree.” Soonyoung says still laughing, “You’re so cute when you’re all excited.” He said, now smiling at him, before holding Jihoon’s hand again, leading him to a nearby bench, “Why don’t you calm down first, do you want some ice cream?”

Jihoon looked at Soonyoung, tilting his head, “Ice cream?” He asked leaning closer to Soonyoung making him lean back, “You’d buy me ice cream?”

“O-of course,” Soonyoung replied, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Jihoon sat back, playing with his fingers, “They actually said that it’s bad for me to eat ice cream,” Jihoon explained, “If my body cools down, it’s bad for my heart.”

Soonyoung blinked at Jihoon, “Well, trying it once wouldn’t be that bad, right?” He coaxed, standing up from where he was seated, “I’ll be back.”

When Soonyoung came back, he was holding two cups of ice cream, he offered both to Jihoon, “Which one would you like?”

“What’s this one?” He asked, pointing to a blue and white ice cream.

“Shooting star.” Soonyoung answered, and Jihoon smiled.

“Can I have that?” Jihoon made grabby hands, and Soonyoung couldn’t stop the fond smile lacing on his lips.

“Of course.” Soonyoung handed the cup to Jihoon, his eyes sparkling as he took the spoon, and shoving a bit of the ice cream into his mouth.

“Mhmm!” His eyes widened, “This taste like heaven!” Jihoon beamed as he savor the taste of the ice cream, “Look! It also have those popping candies!”

Soonyoung smiled, “It taste like cola, right?” He said as he ate his vanilla ice cream.

Jihoon nodded, “Wow! This is amazing! Wow!” He couldn’t stop himself from getting excited over an ice cream, that taste like a mixture of vanilla and cola, with popping candies and apple jam.

Jihoon wasn’t expecting such taste, surprising him with its assortment and randomness…

_Just like a certain star…_

He turned to Soonyoung watching the people passing by as he quietly eats his ice cream, he then noticed that Jihoon was staring making him turn and smile at him, “Enjoying the ice cream?”.

Jihoon nodded, “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Soonyoung said, reaching out and patting his head once again.

Jihoon could feel it, feel his heart beating faster for a different reason; a reason he had to stop before it was too late.

A few weeks passed by, and they have become a bit busy in school doing their projects and meeting deadlines that Jihoon and Soonyoung weren’t able to hang out much in the weekend just like before. So when the time their midterm exams were over, Jihoon found Soonyoung making his way to him after classes; their other classmates were still not used to the sudden closeness of the two.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” Soonyoung asked, pulling a chair and sitting next to Jihoon, who shook his head, “Want to go out with me?”

Jihoon stop midway from what he was doing, turning to Soonyoung before looking around their classroom to find everyone staring at them. If it was another instance, Jihoon would’ve thought that Soonyoung was saying the same thing his classmates were thinking, but this was Jihoon and Soonyoung; they have been going out every week as the latter had promised him to enjoy life to the fullest.

“Where?” Jihoon asked, returning in fixing his things.

“I don’t know, wanna go to Namsan Tower?”

Jihoon’s grip on his bottle slipped, making him drop it on the floor. _This is so weird._

“Err… sure?” Jihoon answered, eyeing the curious people around them.

Soonyoung smiled widely as he bent down to get Jihoon bottle, “Good! I’ll text you the details, okay?” Soonyoung stood up handing Jihoon his bottle, and then going back to his seat to get his things, “See you this weekend, Ji.” He said before leaving the room

“Uhmm, yeah.” He wasn’t sure if Soonyoung even heard him, he was feeling everyone’s eyes on him so he hurriedly shoved his things into his bag and made his way out of the room.

_“That was so awkward, they think we’re going on a date.”_ Jihoon sighed as he thought to himself.

When the weekend came, Jihoon found himself standing next to Soonyoung inside the elevator, it wasn’t too crowded but he could still feel his hand brushing against Soonyoung’s.

He had tried to ignored it, looking anywhere but the guy beside him, but he almost jumped in surprise when he felt a hand sliding against his, until it had completely wrapped itself against his hand. Jihoon didn’t dare to look or speak, the hand moved again, this time, intertwining their fingers together.

Jihoon’s heart started beating faster once again, he took a deep breath to calm himself but it proved to be useless especially when the cause leaned down to whisper, “Are you okay?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Jihoon nodded. He felt the hand squeezed his lightly, making him turn to Soonyoung who gave him a smile, his hand raising up to fix a stray hair, “That’s good to know, I thought you were having a hard time breathing.”

Before Jihoon could speak again, the elevator chimed and opened, indicating that they have arrived. It wasn’t Jihoon’s first time there, he had been there a few times, but today was the first time he was with someone… _special._

“Hey.” Jihoon called out to Soonyoung, hands still intertwined, “I know this is weird, but I have always wanted to try this lock thingy.” He pulled out two small locks from his pocket, and Soonyoung just looked at it, “I-it’s okay if it’s just me, I don’t mind.” Jihoon stuttered as he took back his words but Soonyoung squeezed his hand once more.

“Sure, let’s write something on them?” Soonyoung asked with a smile, making Jihoon sigh in relief and nod at him.

_KSY x LJH_

It was a long day, after they had put the lock in and threw the key somewhere, they decided to stroll around before eating their dinner. They were now in a bus, on the way home, sitting next to each other. Jihoon had been staring out in the window, watching the city lights and the cars passing by when he noticed Soonyoung’s reflection, seemingly in a deep thought.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jihoon asked as he turn to face Soonyoung.

Soonyoung let out a small smile “I’m just happy you get to enjoy life now, but aren’t your parents worried about you?” He asked as he played with Jihoon’s fingers, still not letting go of his hand.

“I explained to them, that I should probably seize the day than being holed up inside my room, doing nothing.” Jihoon assured Soonyoung as he look at their connected hands. 

They were silent for a moment, before they both look up, meeting each other’s gazes.

“Jihoon…” Soonyoung was about to say something, but Jihoon turned his head away.

“Don’t say it.” Jihoon mumbled, hands tightening around Soonyoung’s.

They sat there in silence, before Soonyoung decided to break it again, “I was just about to invite you at the lantern festival next week, Ji.” Jihoon turned and looked at Soonyoung smiling warmly at him, “I think that would be fun.”

☆♡☆

“Damn, it’s really hot today, isn’t it?” Soonyoung groaned as he took a piece of paper and fanned himself to cool his body.

Jihoon was currently doing his homework next to Soonyoung, both of them sitting on the floor of Jihoon’s living room.

“Can’t we go to your room and open the air-conditioner or something?” Soonyoung whined.

Jihoon eyed Soonyoung, “I can’t, unless I finish this.” Jihoon pointed to his project that was currently taking up a lot of space, “I’ll get you something to drink for the meantime.” Jihoon was about to stand when Soonyoung stopped him.

“Wait…” Soonyoung said, eyeing something on Jihoon’s neck, “What’s this?” He asked, pulling the necklace out of Jihoon’s shirt.

“A pick?” Jihoon answered, unsure.

“You play?” Soonyoung asked, staring at the pick that was hanging on Jihoon’s neck with curious eyes.

“Before,” Jihoon said with a smile, settling down once again, drinks forgotten, and held the pick on his hand, “I really liked music when I was young and I used to compose poetry, and soon I learned to compose songs.” Jihoon looked at the pick on his hand, smiling fondly, “My mom gave me a guitar as a birthday gift, so this pick is the one I personally bought with my own money.”

“Cool.” Soonyoung said, eyes shining, “What else can you play? Are you good at playing the guitar? Can you sing for me?” He asked, eyes full of expectation.

Jihoon chuckled softly, “Well, I can play the piano as well, my father taught me how. I’m not sure if I’m good at playing, but I guess I’m decent?” Jihoon answered.

“And? How about my last question?” Soonyoung inquired, leaning even more to Jihoon.

“I already gave up on that.” Jihoon said, turning his head away from Soonyoung.

“But why? You even said you were composing songs.” Soonyoung said with a pout, “I’m pretty sure they’re beautiful, and the world should hear them.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to handle singing in front of someone, much less, in front of the world.” Jihoon lowered his head.

“But isn’t it a waste? Why don’t you consider this as a once in a lifetime excitement? That even once you get to play your own song?” Soonyoung tried to convince Jihoon with a smile.

Jihoon looked hesitant, not sure what he should do, but Soonyoung’s expectant eyes seems to do the trick, making him sigh in defeat, “Fine…”

Soonyoung’s eyes grew wide and brighter, if they were physically possible, before he smiled so wide, cheeks bunching up making him squishy.

“Let’s go to my room, I have my guitar there.” Jihoon said, thinking that he can do his projects later.

They both stood up and made their way upstairs to Jihoon’s room, once inside, Jihoon opened the air-conditioner to cool the room and relieve them from the summer heat before Jihoon took his guitar from its case, before sitting on his bed and then tuning it out before he started strumming randomly.

“So?” Soonyoung sat next to him, tilting his head, and eyeing Jihoon with his expectant eyes.

Jihoon swallowed, clearing his throat before he strummed the guitar once again, “I don’t know what I should sing.”

“Sing anything you like, sing one of you compositions.” Soonyoung suggested and Jihoon looked at him warily.

“O-okay then.” Jihoon stood up and went to his study table, taking a notebook from a drawer before returning to where he was seated on the bed.

He flipped through a few pages before he settled on one, and then started strumming the guitar, this time, with sure melody, before he started singing.

Soonyoung listened to him, as quiet as he can, trying to get the feeling of the song, the feeling of the voice, the feelings of the singer. It wasn’t until Jihoon was finished singing that he stood up from where he was seated and placed both of his hands on Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Jihoon!” Soonyoung exclaimed in excitement, surprising the former.

“W-what?” Jihoon stuttered, “I-it’s bad, isn’t it?” Jihoon mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

Soonyoung shook his head, “I have a bright idea!”

Jihoon blinked, eyeing him warily… _a bright idea, you say?_

☆♡☆

“ _This_ is not a good idea.” Jihoon tried to get away from Soonyoung’s grip, trying to pull him inside a club room.

“Oh, c’mon Jihoon.” Soonyoung tried to pull Jihoon inside the room, “Sorry guys, he’s a bit shy.” Soonyoung turned to the people inside the room before turning back to Jihoon, “Come on.” Finally pulling Jihoon inside.

“You are so dead to me, Soonyoung.” Jihoon grumbled as he punched Soonyoung’s arm.

“Oww.” Soonyoung rubbed his arm, but still smiled cheekily at Jihoon making the latter frown even more, because _what the heck is he so cute for?!_

“Who’s this?” The blonde guy spoke, eyeing Jihoon from head to toe that made him hide behind Soonyoung.

“He’s one of our classmate,” The guy who was wearing glasses spoke, raising a brow at Soonyoung, seemingly confused as to why he had brought him, “Lee Jihoon.” 

Jihoon swallowed, clinging to Soonyoung’s arm making the latter look at him.

“Guys, you’re scaring him.” Soonyoung said, removing Jihoon’s hand on his arm before holding it, “Anyways, this is Jihoon.” Soonyoung introduced, “Jihoon, they are members of our school’s music club, they have a mini band they compose themselves.”

“Mini band…” Jihoon muttered, looking at the four people in front of him.

“Hi, I’m Jeonghan,” The blonde guy introduced himself, “I’m the bassist of the band,” He said with his angelic smile, “This is Joshua, our guitarist,” He said pointing to the guy sitting next to him holding a guitar who nodded at him, “This Seungkwan, our keyboardist,” He continued, pointing to the blue haired guy who waved hello at him, “And this is Wonwoo.”

“I know him.” Jihoon nodded slightly at him in acknowledgment.

“He’s our drummer.” The guy named Jeonghan said, smiling at him.

“We have our vocalist as well, but he’s not here,” Seungkwan, if Jihoon remembered correctly, said with a bright smile.

“Why did you bring him here, Soonyoung?” Joshua said gently, before looking at Jihoon and smiling at him.

“You guys should hear him sing!” Soonyoung cheerfully said as he look back to the guy who spoke, making Jihoon snap at him.

“No! What are you talking about Soonyoung?!” Jihoon was about to pull his hand away but Soonyoung tightened his hold and looked at Jihoon.

“Come on, Ji.” He spoke, “I told you didn’t I? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“No!”

“Jihoonie~,” Soonyoung pouted, “Please? For me.”

“I said no, Soonyoung.” Jihoon said firmly.

“Jihoonie~,” Soonyoung started swaying his arm, “Just this once, please.”

“Soon—” Before Jihoon could say no again, he was cut off by Soonyoung.

“I’ll buy you another ice cream,” Soonyoung offered making Jihoon frown at him, “Shooting star?” 

This made Jihoon stop, turning to the people who were quietly watching their exchange, before turning back to Soonyoung, eyes filled with expectation.

“You know I can’t eat that.” Jihoon whispered.

“No one will know.” Soonyoung whispered back, winking at him, and instantly Jihoon felt his heart racing once more.

Jihoon sighed, “Fine,” He said in defeat, “Give me my ice cream later.”

Soonyoung’s smile brightened even more, before pulling Jihoon closer to the others, “He’s gonna sing!” He excitedly said, about to pull away from Jihoon, but he stopped him, hand tightening around him, “Hmm?”

Jihoon just looked at Soonyoung, sending a silent message that made Soonyoung smile and walk closer to Jihoon, squeezing his hand lightly to assure him, and Jihoon appreciated it. He heaved a deep breath before he started singing in front of the others.

“Wow, I can see why Soonyoung seems so pumped up in making you sing.” Jeonghan said as he leaned back on the table, smiling.

“Your voice is really soothing and calming, hyung.” Seungkwan said with an awe-struck smile.

“Did you bring him here so that you can offer Jihoon the position of the vocalist while Seokmin is on the musical?” Joshua asked while he was sitting on a vacant chair inside the room.

“A vocalist? What?” Jihoon turned to Soonyoung, “I told you, Soonyoung, I can barely sing in front of this guys, what more in front of the whole student body?”

Jihoon was about to leave when Soonyoung stopped in front of him, “But, aren’t we making the most out of life?” Soonyoung said, putting his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders, “C’mon, just one song during our school festival.”

“Seokmin actually have a lot on his plate right now with the musical, and the band. So we told him that he can take a break from the band first,” Jeonghan explained, “It would really be a great help if you could help us, just after he finish the musical.”

“We know it’s too much to ask, but it would really be fun, hyung.” It was Seungkwan who came closer and held Jihoon’s hand, “Please?” He added.

Jihoon looked at all the eyes, expectantly waiting for his reply. And just like before, he sighed in defeat, “O-okay.” He said. 

“Yay!” Seungkwan jumped and hugged Jihoon, surprising him, but in a good way. He saw Soonyoung smiling at the side, and the thankful look of the others, _all but one_.

Jihoon’s eyes met Wonwoo’s who had been sitting quietly on the table next to Jeonghan, he was looking at him before his eyes shifted to Soonyoung, before he turned away. Jihoon frowned, confused at how Wonwoo seemed to be in deep thought, while the others made their way to Jihoon, discussing when they should practice and what song they should perform during the festival. Jihoon was overwhelmed with feelings, being surrounded by a few people that do not look at him with pity, and was actually trying to have fun with him.

_And it was all thanks to Soonyoung._

☆♡☆

Jihoon felt like his world shifted on its axis the moment he started practicing with the band. He spent more time with them now, and lesser with Soonyoung who seems not to mind it, the latter even told him how happy he was that finally Jihoon was having more friends in the school other than him. And it wasn’t only because of him practicing with the band, for some reason, he could feel that Soonyoung was slipping away from his life, and that had scared Jihoon the most.

Once, Soonyoung accompanied Jihoon in going to the club, but as soon as they arrived there, Soonyoung didn’t even go inside to say hi, he said he had somewhere he should go to and that he won’t be able to stay any longer, before he bid Jihoon goodbye, not without patting the latter’s head.

“You okay?” Jihoon almost jumped when a bottle of water appeared in front of him, “You were spacing out.”

“Uhmm, sorry.” He took the bottle of water and sighed, “Thanks, Won.”

Wonwoo sat next to him, watching as the other members fool around as they took a break from practicing, “What were you thinking?” He asked.

Jihoon shook his head, “Just tired.” He lied.

Wonwoo looked at him, and Jihoon knew he didn’t buy his reason, but he chose to keep quiet about it, and Jihoon was thankful for that. If there was someone who he was trying to avoid the topic of Soonyoung, it was Wonwoo, whom he found out as the latter’s best friend since they were in pre school.

When he found out about that, Jihoon was left speechless, thinking how this person beside him knows about Soonyoung longer than he have. No, he wasn’t jealous, there was no reason for him to be jealous, but thinking of how they spent a lot of time together makes Jihoon sad, and had wished he could be there too, growing together with Soonyoung.

Jihoon sighed once again, thinking how his life had somehow started revolving around Soonyoung, how he miss the latter when he can’t see him on the weekends, how excited he was to talk to the other, how he always anticipated them to go home together after his practice with the band.

It was now Jihoon who was trying to spend time with Soonyoung, but as he had initially thought before, he could feel Soonyoung was also starting to distance himself from Jihoon. How the other stopped their weekend hangouts, how the other would disappear to heaven knows where leaving Jihoon behind, how the other would apologize to him when Jihoon ask him to go home with him.

It wasn’t supposed to be Soonyoung who should be distancing himself, it should be Jihoon.

“I’m sure he’ll come around, sooner.” Wonwoo spoke, his low voice surprising Jihoon.

Jihoon just looked at him, not sure what to say, so he just nodded.

_And speak of the devil…_

“Jihoonie!” All of them turned to the door where Soonyoung entered, hands full with two plastic bags, “I got y’all some snacks.” He announced, putting the bags on the table.

“Ugh! Thank you, hyung.” Seungkwan came closer to the table, “I was starving.”

“Jihoonie…” Soonyoung called him, coming closer to where he was, handing him his favorite snack with a smile, “Here.”

Jihoon reached out for the snack, his hand brushing against Soonyoung’s hand, and he could already feel his ears heating up as he look at Soonyoung. It’s been a while since the latter had sat next to him, been a while since he had seen that smile up close, been a while since he could stare at him.

“You okay, Jihoonie?” Soonyoung asked when Jihoon didn’t move to open the pack of chips he was holding.

“He said he was tired.” It was Wonwoo who answered, standing up from where he was seated and coming closer to the table to take a pack of biscuits.

Soonyoung panicked, kneeling in front of him and checking him all over, “How do you feel? Does it hurt? How’s your heart?” He bombarded him with question, surprising Jihoon.

“I-I’m okay.” Jihoon assured him, caressing Soonyoung’s arm for extra measure, “I’m okay.”

“What’s with the overreaction, Soons?” Joshua asked, and everyone eyed him.

Soonyoung looked at the others before looking back at Jihoon who sighed and just nodded at him. Soonyoung took a seat next to Jihoon, holding his hand, before he started explaining to everyone about Jihoon’s condition. It was no use hiding after all, sooner or later, they would find out about it, and it was better if they knew already, so that Jihoon would feel at ease when practicing.

“W-we’re sorry to hear that, hyung.” Seungkwan came closer to Jihoon, hugging him, eyes glassy.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jihoon assured the younger, stroking his hair.

Seungkwan still didn’t let go, burying his face on the crook of Jihoon’s neck. Jihoon looked at the others and they gave him sympathetic smiles, “Just tell us whenever if you feel tired, okay?” It was Jeonghan, walking closer and sitting in front of him, “So we can make sure you can rest, you don’t have to push yourself.”

“I’m fine…” Jihoon pressed, not liking how the others were looking at him.

Joshua seemed to noticed and came closer, “No, we’re not limiting you in what you should do, Jihoon.” He said gently, “We’re saying that if you can’t take it anymore, just tell us.”

“Hyung, we won’t stop you doing what you want, we just want to make sure that you are okay.” It was now Seungkwan’s turn to assure Jihoon, “We don’t want you passing out all of a sudden, you know.” He teased, trying to make the mood lighter.

Jihoon looked at everyone around, now smiling at him warmly, before looking at Soonyoung who smiled at him, his thumb stroking the back of his hand, “O-okay.” Jihoon spoke, looking at the other member before he noticed that Wonwoo had been silent all the time.

He looked at Wonwoo who had a look of disbelief in his face, but he wasn’t looking at Jihoon, rather he was looking at Soonyoung.

“Won—?” He was about to call out the other but wasn’t able to when Soonyoung butted in.

“Let’s go home?” Soonyoung suddenly offered, “So we can make sure you rest for today.”

“Good idea, hyung.” Seungkwan agreed, “We can continue tomorrow, just to make sure.” He beamed.

Everyone nodded, and when Jihoon looked at Wonwoo, he had already averted his gaze. Jihoon looked at Soonyoung who just smiled at him, pulling his hand so both of them could stand.

“See you tomorrow.” Joshua waved goodbye at them as the walked out of the room and into the hallway.

They were both silent while walking the street going to Jihoon’s house, but as usual, it was Soonyoung who broke it, “It’s been a while since I’ve been here.” He said.

“Yeah.” Jihoon breathed, looking at Soonyoung who just smiled at him.

“How was practice?” He asked, tilting his head in genuine curiosity.

“It was okay,” Jihoon grinned, “I just can’t believe I’d get along with them well.”

“See, they’re not that bad, right?” Soonyoung chirped.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jihoon nodded in agreement, turning to see his house.

“Hey…” Jihoon turned to Soonyoung when he called, “It’s been a while since we last had fun, should we go somewhere this weekend?”  He offered making Jihoon stopped on his tracks.

Soonyoung turned to Jihoon when he noticed that the other had stopped walking, raising a brow in confusion.

Jihoon didn’t know what came to him, but he walked closer to Soonyoung, going on his tippy toes, holding on Soonyoung’s neck to pull him down and peck on his cheeks, “I’m having fun as it is.” Jihoon said with a smile before leaving Soonyoung behind, “See you tomorrow!” He shouted, going inside his home and going straight to his room, his hand going to his chest, “That is surely going to shorten my lifespan even more.” He whispered to himself, closing his eyes to calm his erratic heart.

☆♡☆

The preparation for the school festival came and a lot of students were busy doing their designated assignments, some were painting the props they were about to use for the musical, some were arranging the classrooms to be used as changing rooms, the others were busy with their food stalls arranged on the school field.

Jihoon was on the backstage together with Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Soonyoung as they look around, checking if they had set the equipment properly. They were busy talking with a staff there, when someone came running to them calling Soonyoung.

“Hyung!” They all turned to the newcomer, who has heavily panting, “Hyung, we need your help.”

“Chan?” Soonyoung asked in confusion, “Why, what’s wrong?”

“One of our dancers sprained his ankle, and won’t be able to dance tomorrow.” Chan explained, “You’re the only one I know who could help us, you already know the dance step since you’re the one who choreographed it.” Chan claimed, “Please, hyung.”

Jihoon looked at Soonyoung who smiled at the younger, patting his shoulder, “Sure, I’ll join you later.”

“Soonyoung.” Wonwoo’s jaw clenched, making Jihoon turn to him, seeing his eyes filled with worry.

“It’s okay, Won.” Soonyoung smiled at him, “I can handle it.” He assured, before turning to Jihoon, “I’m returning a favor…” Soonyoung walked closer to him, “Watch me dance?”

“Oh yeah,” Jeonghan butted in, “You used to be in the dance team,” He added, “You should really watch Soonyoung dance, he’s really good at it.” Jeonghan said, turning to Jihoon.

For some reason, it didn’t settle well on Jihoon, but he forced himself to smile, nodding, “I’ll be expecting a good performance from you.” He poked Soonyoung cheeks, making the other smile.

“I’ll sweep you off your feet.” Soonyoung winked, before patting Jihoon’s head, “I’ll go with Chan now, I have someone to impress.”

“Soonyoung…”

“It’s fine, Won.” Soonyoung smiled, “See you guys later.”

Jihoon looked at Wonwoo once again, the other was staring at Soonyoung’s retreating back while clenching his fist tightly, “Are you okay?” He asked.

Wonwoo looked at Jihoon, before looking back at Soonyoung, heaving a deep sigh before he nods, “Yeah, that guy is just stubborn as hell.”

Jihoon didn’t know what Wonwoo’s words held back then, but he chose to brush it off, still trying to ease the feeling as he watched Soonyoung laugh with the younger dancer.

On the day of the performance, Jihoon was standing with the others on the back stage, watching the other performers that was currently on-stage. It was a good thing that the band would perform last, Jihoon still had the time to prepare and calm himself.

“How are you feeling?” Jeonghan asked on the nth time he had breathed deeply.

“Nervous.” Jihoon said and Jeonghan smiled.

“You’ll do great on that stage.” He said, patting Jihoon’s shoulder, “Just try to relax, okay.”

Jihoon nodded, and turn to the stage when the host announced that the dance team were next to perform.

There were four of them on stage with Soonyoung claiming the center. Jihoon watched in awe as he saw how powerful and yet still graceful Soonyoung’s dance moves were. He watched him carefully, and he felt like there was something that wasn’t right, he couldn’t concentrate on whether it was just him and his weak heart, but he still felt uneasy. He saw Wonwoo move on his seat, making him turn to him only to see how dark his expression was.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jihoon asked again, it seems that he was not the only one who was feeling uneasy.

Wonwoo turned to Jihoon, frowning before turning back to Soonyoung who had finished dancing, panting heavily, but still managed to pull a smile on the audience, “Jihoon…”

Jihoon was surprised when Wonwoo called him, voice and expression too serious for his liking, “Come with me, I need to talk to you.”

He didn’t like the tone Wonwoo used, but still, he followed him to the fire exit without questioning him. 

★☾★

Jihoon knew he shouldn’t be running right now, he shouldn’t strain himself further, but he _needs_ to find him. His hand clenched tightly around the phone he was holding, going straight to the dance team’s room. When he arrived at the room, the other members were already leaving, and he couldn’t find Soonyoung among them. So he waited until they were all gone, and that’s when he stepped inside the room, immediately seeing Soonyoung sitting by the window, looking outside and staring at the sky.

“Soonyoung!” Jihoon called out, making the said person turn to him, his eyes immediately went to the phone he was holding.

“Ah, so he told you.” Soonyoung said, scratching the back of his head before facing Jihoon.

Jihoon was trembling, his hands were shaking as he pointed the phone to Soonyoung, producing that annoying beeping sound as the screen flashing the same screen he always see to monitor his heart rate, the same screen he always dreaded looking at the end of the day because he’s scared of how much time he has left.

The screen flashed Soonyoung’s face, the heart monitor, and the heart beats he’s left with; _1,122_. Ironic, because it looked exactly like his birthdate.

“I think I only have a few minutes left?” Soonyoung said with a sad smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jihoon asked, heart breaking as he looks at Soonyoung.

“I don’t want you to hold back, Ji.” Soonyoung walked closer to him, cupping Jihoon’s face and wiping the tears away. He was crying, he didn’t even know he started crying, “I was surprised to know we have the same illness, and I actually thought of the same thing. Our treatment is pretty expensive, that’s why my parents often scold me for being too careless,” Soonyoung was looking as Jihoon, carefully studying his face, “But I want to enjoy the limited time I have, I don’t want to live longer but have a dull life.” Soonyoung brushed Jihoon’s bangs away, “I actually don’t regret anything I’ve done, _until life gave me the greatest gift…_ ” Soonyoung said, voice cracking.

Jihoon couldn’t speak, he was crying so much, and Soonyoung just continued wiping his tears away, when he himself have been crying as well. 

“That day…” Jihoon closed his eyes, he didn’t want to listen.

“Please, don’t…” He begged, it was too much already.

It all came back to him, on how Soonyoung had refused to remove his shirt, on how he tried to avoid the thrilling rides as well, on how sad his eyes looked whenever he stared at Jihoon for no apparent reason, on how Soonyoung started to distance himself from Jihoon, because it wasn’t Jihoon who was about to leave him, _it was Soonyoung leaving Jihoon._

“I’m sorry, Ji.” Soonyoung whispered, “I’m sorry.”

When Jihoon opened his eyes again, he could see in Soonyoung’s eyes the thing he wanted to say the most, he could feel them in every caress the latter was doing, and it breaks his heart even more. They didn’t speak, eyes locked with each other, and he could feel Soonyoung leaning down, and then he could feel his lips brushing against his. It was light and careful, and Jihoon… he was done being careful when he got involved with Soonyoung. So he kissed him back, they poured everything on that very kiss; the happiness, the sadness, the pain, _the love_.

They parted when they had the need to breathe, the beeping sound coming from the phone started getting slower and louder, and Jihoon clutched onto Soonyoung shirt tightly as if his own life depended on it.

“Thank you…” Soonyoung breathed, “Thank you for allowing me to fall in love.” He kissed Jihoon’s forehead, “Can you sing for me one last time?” 

Soonyoung sat on the floor, leaning back on the wall, looking up at Jihoon. Jihoon followed him, kneeling beside him, cupping his cheeks as he started singing. He continued singing for him, _until his last heartbeat_.

Jihoon cried, holding Soonyoung in his arms. He turned his head when he heard the footsteps coming closer to the room, and there he saw Wonwoo, stopping on his tracks as he stared at the two of them.

_Jihoon cried his heart out on that day._  

★☾★

“Are you sure about this, Jihoon?” Wonwoo asked Jihoon, both of them standing at the backstage, watching the sea of people anticipating his performance.

Jihoon smiled, “Yes.”

Soonyoung left the world at the age of 17, it was a shock to everyone the he knows and knows him. No one knew about his condition except for his family and Wonwoo, and lastly, Jihoon who had locked himself up on his room.

His family couldn’t talk to him, he was skipping his meals and was mourning, until Wonwoo came to visit him, talking him out, and telling him Soonyoung would want him to experience life to its fullest and not to mourn for him.

This is what drove him to achieve his dreams, made him pursue music, and is now widely know being a singer-songwriter that have been blessing the world with his beautiful songs.

He worked with the band that he had in high school, and they were more than happy to be a part of Jihoon’s journey in achieving his dreams. They became famous, they didn’t expect people to love them and their music. They have been traveling the world, performing their songs and aspiring young artist to never stop believing and trying to reach for their goals and dreams.

“Jihoon,” He turned to his band, they were smiling at him, “It’s time.”

Jihoon nodded at them, before heaving a deep breath before going on stage, the crowd cheering for him as he went to the grand piano in the middle of the stage.

He looked at them, cheering his name and waving their lightsticks, before he fix the microphone and spoke to them.

“This last song,” He started, “Is very special to me. This is dedicated to my first…” The cheering got louder, “My only…” Jihoon look up, as if he was looking at the sky, “And my last love,” The crowd got wilder, making Jihoon laugh at the mic, “This is for you, I know you can hear me, this would be my last song.”

_The feelings that we shared_  
_As they piled up one by one, we were happy_  
_You, who isn’t with me anymore_  
_Although I don’t want to see you, I miss you_  
_Although I hate you, I miss you_  
_I don’t understand myself well._

Jihoon retired from the music industry after the success of his song “What Kind of Future” that he had dedicated to his first, his only and his last love. It had come as a shock to their fans as they announced it on a press conference, and had explained that it was Jihoon’s wish, excluding the part of his real reason. He went back to the town where he met Soonyoung, deciding to spend his time there.

He was lying on his bed, holding on his hand the only photo he had with Soonyoung; the photo they took on the amusement park. He was staring at Soonyoung’s face, smiling as he remembered how his cheeks used to bunch up everytime he smiles, eyes disappearing, and his cute teeth appearing.

People had always asked him over and over again, as if wanting him to move on from him, _"Until when will you continue loving him?"_ . He didn't have to think twice as he always answered with a smile, _"Until my last heartbeat."_

“Jihoon…” He shifted his eyes to his visitor, smiling at him as he made his way to him, “Hi.”

“It’s been a while, Won..” He spoke softly.

“Yeah, I last saw you on Jeonghan hyung’s marriage with Seungcheol hyung.” Wonwoo said, sitting by the bed.

Jihoon smiled at the memory, of Jeonghan marrying their own manager after Jihoon announced his retirement. The others were stable as well, Seokmin became a soloist after the disbandment, Joshua flying back to America to handle their company, Seungkwan becoming a radio host, and Wonwoo, he was now working on his dream company.

Wonwoo eyed the photo Jihoon was holding, smiling as he saw who it was, “You two look cute together.” He pointed out.

“He was cute.” Jihoon said, feeling his eyes getting heavier.

“He was.” Wonwoo agreed, caressing Jihoon’s hair, biting his lower lip.

“Thank you, Won…” Jihoon breathed, “For everything.”

“Anytime.” Wonwoo tried to speak clearly, but his voice cracked as he saw Jihoon slowly closing his eyes, “Sleep, Ji…” He continued stroking Jihoon’s hair, “You’ve done well.”

Jihoon smiled, eyes closing slowly.

“Sleep tight, Jihoon.” Wonwoo whispered.

_Jihoon died with a smile at the age of 20._


End file.
